January 3rd, 2012
The “Color” person on TV — do you have one for your team?
“Color” — that’s the person who adds interesting stories, quips, quotes, and comments to make the ball game and the players interesting. When your team gives a presentation, wouldn’t it be more interesting if you had a color person, too? What if you were the color person? Keep it appropriate, though. Don’t make anyone look or sound bad in front of an audience. Enjoy.
Posted in Influencing, Presence, Presentation Skills | No Comments »
Return to top ^January 5th, 2012
Winning over executives: what to expect
Getting ready to present to top line people? Are you doing the “usual” — amassing a large number of slides, back-up slides, and data points just in case you get asked a hard question? Okay, not bad, but please know this — you won’t get all the time you had expected AND you had better be concise. If they promised you 30 minutes to speak to the board, expect 10 to 15 at the most. Prepare for 2 minutes. Don’t laugh! If you expect to have no time at all and to have an impatient audience, you will be the most “ready” you have ever been in your life!
Posted in Career Advancement, Presentation Skills, Speaking Style | No Comments »
Return to top ^January 2nd, 2012
Par, Score, Home run, Touchdown, Hit it out of the park
http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=NFL+video+highligh&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
I like sports analogies. But then again, I was quite a tomboy, and these analogies make sense to me as a result. But if you are speaking to a global group or others who didn’t play sports or aren’t interested in them, maybe you should think of analogies that relate to what others have in common — family, weather, vacations, and if not politically charged, current events. I’m glad you like sports, and you can go ahead and use some athletic analogies, but you’d better explain them. Then you’ll really score.
Posted in Cultural Differences, Influencing, Interviewing Skills | No Comments »
Return to top ^January 1st, 2012
Mummers – I was one, and they know stage presence
I’m watching the Mummers parade in Philadelphia, featuring wenches, fancy dress, and string bands in elaborate costumes. When the Mummers figure out where the TV cameras are, they flock to them. What’s the learning for you? If you think your visibility is low, then look for the cameras — the most visible ways to record the action — rather than just looking for the highly visible projects. When you figure out where the “cameras” are (the people who inform others, the people who influence, the messaging systems in your organization), then you will be rewarded with visibility, without having to wear a sequined costume or be outside freezing on New Year’s Day.
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Return to top ^January 1st, 2012
Restitution first, Resolution second
I think I know why people can’t keep new year resolutions. It has to do with regret about the past and self-recrimination and flagellation about what was not done in the past. So, before you make resolutions, make restitutions. Make a small sacrifice mentally to the remorse gods and forgive yourself for last year and maybe the years before. They are gone. Spend 10 minutes on this in meditation or even while doing the laundry. Just give yourself some mental forgiveness and move on to planning and enjoying 2012. Happy New Year!
Tags: criticism, intracommunication
Posted in Uncategorized, self-direction and control | No Comments »
September 19th, 2011
Memorial Services: What works, what doesn’t
That’s it. I’m not going to memorial services anymore. Why: hearing embarrassing and insulting stories about a 94 year old whom I admired literally to death is NOT what I want or expect from a memorial service. Family members think it’s cute to share the person’s embarrassing moments and poke fun at his or her personality or style. Do they do this to alleviate tension and upset? If so, I hope it works for them. It doesn’t for me. Does it work for you?
Here is what I expect: stories that let you admire their past and how much they made a difference in this world. In fact, the most memorable memorial service (!) was that of my business mentor, whose openness about corporate success and secrets, shared with a female business owner and many others over 27 years, gave me for a large part the success that I have received. He was a top executive at DuPont, a Ph.D. in chemistry, and a man who was publishing books and coaching business people up until his death. Many “funny” stories repeated the theme of his unwanted coaching. And yet, hundreds at the memorial service were there from the business community for the same reason that I was — to honor a wonderful and generous man. The speakers/relatives didn’t mention how he never complained despite painful and frightening paralysis and breaks of his legs, the poignant deterioration of his wife, his giving up of a luxurious life on an estate to be close to his wife during her illness in a concrete assisted living facility, and his quiet generosity and leadership throughout his life.
The next time I am invited to a memorial service, I will make sure to speak at it, to memorialize the greatness of people that possibly receive the most admiration from those with the least need to entertain or complain. Please write me a role in the program, so that I can do this one good thing for a dear business friend, colleague, and coach. I will never forget Dave Holmes, and I miss him and admire him despite the “send-off” I experienced. I guess the family just didn’t know him or could see past their history.
Tags: memorial services, public speaking
Posted in Dealing with difficult people and situations, Presentation Skills | No Comments »
July 25th, 2011
SuperNanny Shows Us 3 Useful Business Strategies for Managers
I don’t have children, but I love watching SuperNanny. Here’s why: Every single time she creates clear structure, talks calmly but firmly, and reminds people of their responsibilities. Her strategies are especially useful for people who are either too nice or too tough in managing their people. Here are 3 SuperNanny teachings for managing your adults and their “inner child”:
1. Set up structure, post it, and be consistent and fair in applying it. It’s so tempting as a manager to jump in and start solving problems. Sound familiar? That feels a lot sexier than laying out a general plan for interactions and processes. It’s worth it, though, even if this structuring task is boring compared to saving the world!
2. Be firm about your standards, and explain why you are taking immediate action. The key is to explain why, and for corporate citizens, rather than children, they need to hear multiple reasons for your standards so that you appeal to their inner extrovert, introvert, change-lover, and change-hater equally and consistently.
3. Don’t forget to praise and play together. When there is so much work to do and so few resources, praise and play can fly out the window in favor of grinding work. Even a second of praise and a minute of play or friendly, unpressured chat mean a lot.
None of the above means that you have to either put people in the “naughty chair” or conversely, throw a party for every success. Instead, SuperNanny’s 3 techniques above put you in the habit as a leader to give an immediate response to either reinforce or extinguish behaviors and create helpful attitude adjustments.
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Return to top ^July 24th, 2011
2 Key ways to ease into fierce, crucial and other types of confrontational, “real”conversations
Crucial Conversations and Fierce Conversations have been one of the many thought provoking ways of talking about communications. I like them, because they’re right when they say that conversations are at the heart of business and relationships. You’ve got to really get psyched up to face either of these in-depth approaches to dialogue, though. According to these authors and anyone’s experience of life, crucial and fierce conversations are what most of us want to avoid.
If we’re avoiding these conversations, then what are we doing instead? Nonsensical and superficial communications? Yup. So I’m writing to bridge the gap between superficial and crucial-fierce conversations, so that you can safely ease your way into the deeper waters of relationship communications. Here are two ways:
1. Start by talking about the other person or people’s point(s) of view first, before you voice yours. Why: You are starting with easier content AND demonstrating your excellent listening and caring. Example: “You seem to be saying that we need to do X for Y reason. Steve says that we need to do X but for another reason.” Then interview your compadres in the meeting and check if you expressed their points of view correctly.
2. To grow your confidence toward having crucial-fierce conversations, next offer your opinion not as a hard, fast critique but first as a topic to bring up. Why: You can ease into the conversation and re-direct it without frightening yourself. Example: “Whereas you and Steve see it this way, I see a need to focus on THIS topic instead.” You can then explain or you can turn the conversation back to the other person by saying, “What does that mean to YOU?”
You can cycle through this process several times and work your way up to a deeper, more genuine conversation and d–m-it!, maybe a crucial-fierce one. I can explain more. Just contact me. It’s a great topic and strategy.
Tags: connecting with people, criticism, difficult people, diplomacy, social skills, speech pattern, update methods
Posted in Dealing with difficult people and situations, Executive Communications, Influencing | 1 Comment »
January 12th, 2011
Snowbound — a chance to think
It’s about 4 inches of gently falling snow outside right now. I love it. Meetings have already canceled for the next day. If I stay home tomorrow and do nothing but phone calls and paperwork, it will be great! Why? I don’t have any great novels to read or things to buy on-line (okay, I *do* want an e-reader), my flute is in the shop, and my husband will be on his laptop. My real happiness for the day will be having hours in a row to think, really think, about all those topics I’ve saved in hopes of just such a snow-bound day. I want to think of how to verify and write up a new coaching approach. I want to figure out how to connect with the ever more difficult people in my life. I want to think of a plan about how to be a consistently good friend, even as my availability for friends diminishes. I want to make a difference in the world. One snowy day is my road into thinking my way into being the best. I can’t wait. I even have the perfect notebook for taking “thinking notes.” Dogs and cat at my feet, a cup of coffee in hand, and oh, a silenced Blackberry. THAT will make this thinking day REALLY work.
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Return to top ^January 12th, 2011
When “Smart” Isn’t Good Enough
College teaches technical professionals that being the smartest will take you far. They are finding that being smart is not good enough. The new rules of big business show two *social* requirements — be politically smart and be tough. Communications at even the glossiest Fortune 100 companies are brutally tough at almost all levels. Polite requests are replaced with terse email messages. Phone calls and face to face conversations have been replaced by instant messaging. Is it efficient? Of course, at least superficially. But does it make people feel attached to a company, manager, or team? Very very little. If you are a leader, don’t risk losing your “A” players due to failed communications. And you “A” players out there? Don’t depend on your high intelligence to guarantee an “A” (exceeds expectations) rating in your performance appraisal. Work your social intelligence as much as your technical intelligence. It’s not all that time-consuming or difficult. After all, haven’t you succeeded at everything you’ve tried?
Tags: beating competition for top spots, being smart, getting along at work, update methods
Posted in Career Advancement, Influencing, Speaking Style | No Comments »