Archive for the ‘Presence’ Category
The “Color” person on TV — do you have one for your team?
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
“Color” — that’s the person who adds interesting stories, quips, quotes, and comments to make the ball game and the players interesting. When your team gives a presentation, wouldn’t it be more interesting if you had a color person, too? What if you were the color person? Keep it appropriate, though. Don’t make anyone look or sound bad in front of an audience. Enjoy.
Posted in Influencing, Presence, Presentation Skills | No Comments »
An Inexpensive Gift to Give
Thursday, December 30th, 2010
I’m having a great time reading The Zen of Listening by Rebecca Shafir, a neurotherapist and speech pathologist. Her latest “gift” in the book is this quote: “Listening is a very inexpensive way to give to others.” She offers this statement after pages of quotes from people who recalled the moment in which they had felt truly listened to and understood, without interruptions by others to tell their own stories or “run their own agendas.” To receive full and complete listening by others seems so rare that people find it to be magical. I’m enjoying focusing on listening without barriers or an agenda. It’s not so hard. Here’s the link for her book: http://www.mindfulcommunication.com/
At our company, we’ve spent a lot of time helping people to hear implied meanings in questions and discern the intentions of others, but I think I will recommend this book for its approach to the fine points of focusing and listening. More later on this topic. Thanks for reading this blog, and let me know what you think.
Tags: inexpensive gift, listening, paying attention, Zen of Listening
Posted in Auditory Memory, Career Advancement, Dealing with difficult people and situations, Executive Communications, Generational Differences, Influencing, Interviewing Skills, Presence, self-direction and control | No Comments »
Cesar Millan: Dog Whisperer and People Whisperer: Leadership
Wednesday, December 29th, 2010
"Chuh!" says Cesar Millan, dog psychologist and pack leader
Cesar Millan coaches dog owners in leadership. We coach leaders in leadership. How could these be similar? In at least one key way: that both people and dogs trust a leader who assumes the role consistently and confidently. This combination builds attention and trust. Interestingly, Cesar Millan rarely uses words. Leaders of people rely heavily on words. But leaders can learn a lot about leadership, executive presence, and presentation skills by being nonverbal. Millan has his dog owners hold their heads high and be “calm assertive.” Old style CEOs thought the last thing they should be is calm assertive. Instead, they had to be highly charismatic and engaging. Well, Cesar is getting it right for CEOs as well as dog owners. Conveying calm and confidence, especially in these challenging economic times, does work.
Tags: calm assertiveness, Cesar Millan, confidence, dog whisperer
Posted in Career Advancement, Executive Communications, Influencing, Presence | No Comments »
Can’t Remember Names
Wednesday, December 29th, 2010
Being introduced to someone and not remembering his or her name a minute later or days later or even more is one of life’s frustrations. You may wonder why your forget names so easily. I used to think names were forgettable because they told you so little — whether someone you meet is named Sue or Shana doesn’t tell you much. However, according to author Rebecca Shafir in The Zen of Listening, we forget names because we are too busy at the time we hear names. We’re busy going through what she calls “the acceptability list.” By “acceptability list,” she means that we are checking the person against our biases, their appearance, previous similar-looking people, etc. and just not paying attention to anything but our acceptability list. She says an extraordinary listener “does not allow her attention to be consumed by any bias” (page 59). Isn’t that interesting? Try quieting your “acceptability list” and see if that improves your recall of names. After all, your name and theirs are important to everyone! Keep up the good communications.
Also, learn how to make your own introductions more memorable. Just write and ask.
Tags: acceptability list, introductions, remembering names, Shafir, Zen of Listening
Posted in Auditory Memory, Interviewing Skills, Presence | No Comments »
The Q Factor: Angelina Jolie
Sunday, December 19th, 2010
Angelina Jolie has another movie out, and with her every movie, interview, and photo, she is mesmerizing. How? Why? Obviously, she is a beautiful woman. There are many beautiful women in the public eye, and yet she stands out. One reason might be what my associate and favorite colleague, Allan Carlsen, instructor in theater at the University of Delaware, calls the “Q factor.” In the performing arts, this factor means how simply interesting, appealing and watchable a person is. From our field, we might describe her Q factor as relating to Angelina’s additional ability to convey warmth, intelligence, and confidence as well as her ability to communicate clearly, diplomatically, and at a principled, philosophical level in a warm, low, resonant voice. That she is known for good works also helps. So beyond beautiful is the Q factor, and you don’t have to be beautiful to have it. Take a look at our course on Presence to get help finding your Q.
Tags: Presence, speech pattern, UK US differences in speaking style, voice
Posted in Interviewing Skills, Presence, Speaking Style, Speech and Voice | No Comments »
What am I missing?
Saturday, December 18th, 2010
People prepare to present to senior leaders by compiling huge amounts of data and lots of slides. Here’s a surprise. Senior leaders are more interested in what you are missing than what you have for them. They have to assume that you did all the work that you claim to have done. It’s what you as a company might miss that fascinates them. In fact, be ready to provide the QUESTIONS that your work raises rather than just the facts, and you will sound less like a subordinate or middle manager and more like a leader yourself.
Tags: C-suite, gap analysis
Posted in Career Advancement, Executive Communications, Presence, Presentation Skills | No Comments »
Sarah Palin and her Memorable Speech Pattern
Monday, November 1st, 2010
Sarah Palin uses voice and speech to make herself unforgettable. Her speaking style is about more than the words that she uses or the thoughts she expresses. (Check out her speech at the 2008 Republican National Convention on YouTube.) Let’s examine her voice and speech in detail:
1. Her voice: Palin speaks from her chest, giving her a strong, resonant voice that sounds confident. By speaking from her chest, I mean that her voice is vibrated not just from the front of her face, as many women speak, but from her chest. The complex voice quality this creates is unusually full of harmonics and projects well. Christine O’Donnell in my home state of Delaware would benefit from adding this voice quality to her speaking style.
2. Voice movement and duration: She keeps her voice on, with few breaks or long pauses, and uses a lot of intonation or up and down movement of her voice. This continuous sound makes listeners pay attention, and the up and down movement add emphasis and importance to what she says.
3. Speech patterns: She over-enunciates her consonants at the beginnings of words. This extra air pressure on initial consonants in words makes her speech sound more confident and insistent. It is an unusual pattern for females, including many female leaders. Hillary Clinton uses this pattern as well, but because her voice is often monotonous, it is not as engaging as Sarah Palin’s.
These are just a few speech patterns that add the sound of confidence and importance. Palin is quite consistent in using them. More on our politicians’ speech patterns in later posts.
See our course on speaking style to learn these patterns to influence others in your life. You can change your speaking style if it’s not working for you.
By the way, references made here to Sarah, Christine and Hillary are not intended to be positional statements for or against these people.
Tags: Sarah Palin, Speaking Style, speech pattern, voice
Posted in Executive Communications, Influencing, Presence, Speech and Voice, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Great speaker = winner
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
The Financial Times published a letter that quotes Richard Critchfield in Among the English as saying, “This society has since Elizabethan times rewarded almost extravagantly the articulate, the eloquent, the witty, the masters of words, and repartee.” See www.ft.com. Still true? YES. Being “articulate” as become more than a compliment. It succeeds more than facts or logic.
Don’t give up on trying to be more articulate. Now here’s a surprise: to be more articulate, just try talking about 10% slower. This gives your brain a chance to find your best words and to edit your speech before you say something. Try it.
You may not need to be articulate to do your daily activities or to run for office, but it will let you win when interviewing for a job or persuading a customer to buy your service, right?
Speak to you later.
Tags: being articulate, interviewing, slowing down
Posted in Career Advancement, Interviewing Skills, Presence, Speaking Style, self-direction and control | No Comments »
Why your Asian employee is silent in meetings
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
If your Asian employees not born in English-speaking countries are silent in meetings, it’s probably not the result of a totally conscious decision on their parts. Yes, many times people who might speak English as a *second* language are shy about speaking up in public, but usually the main reason is cultural: in Asian cultures, if you are not 100% sure of what you are saying or asking, you keep quiet. I explain that for most Americans and even Europeans, being 30 to 60% sure is good enough. Imagine the impact of this difference on group participation… and their careers. It’s huge.
Tags: Asian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Taiwanese, Thai, Vietnamese speaking styles
Posted in Career Advancement, Cultural Differences, Presence | No Comments »
What my device “says” about me
Monday, June 21st, 2010
In a meeting, your phone rings and you pull out an IPhone, a Droid, or an aging Blackberry 8830 – does your device say something about you? Supposedly first impressions were all about your handshake and how well tailored your business clothes were. Forget all that. I think it’s what device you pull out. So what does it say about you when you have the latest or the oldest device, or the most traditional?
Tags: Image
Posted in Presence | No Comments »